


TianShan Week 2018

by Mestizo



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Blood, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Sinner, Summer, Vacation, tianshanweek, tianshanweek 2018, wound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 08:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15792732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mestizo/pseuds/Mestizo
Summary: A series of One Shots dedicated to TianShan.Day 1: VacationDay 2 + Day 3 : Wound and Sinner





	1. Vacation

**Author's Note:**

> I probably made a LOT of mistakes, please forgive me. For now, please enjoy.  
> My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Mestizo  
> Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mestizo-efp

«Oh my, GuanShan! I’ve never seen you so tanned before» exclaimed GuanShan’s mom, looking closely at his arms and caressing his cheek «You look so different! And look at your hair! It's even brighter!» she smiled fondly «Did you have fun? I bet you did u-hu? With all your friends. I’m almost jealous!»  
«Um» sighed GuanShan, looking at his luggage  
His mother followed his eyes «Oh, are you tired? Was the travel long?»  
GuanShan nodded «Yeah... kind of»  
His mother took the luggage from his hands «Alright, I’m going to take care of this, you get some rest. You're going to tell me everything at dinner. You did take some pictures right? Student He told me that the destination was a surprise so I’m pretty curious~»  
GuanShan nodded again, dragging himself lazily towards his room, which he entered: everything was exactly how he has left three weeks ago, the day when He Tian had suddenly showed up at 5 am.

 

He sat down at his desk, looking at his bed and inevitably remembering that morning: his mother, waking him up, saying that He Tian was waiting for him in the living room.  
«Who?» asked GuanShan, half asleep  
«He Tian» repeated his mom «Don't make him wait»  
GuanShan sat down, confused as his mother took a luggage from nowhere, already full with clothes.  
«Wha- where did you get that? What's happening?»  
His mother took clothes from a bag, handing them to GuanShan «Here, go take a shower»  
«Mom, it's winter, why are you giving me a tank top and shorts pants?» for a moment GuanShan thought he was still sleeping.  
But then his mother pushed him out of his room towards the bathroom and in the corridor he saw He Tian, laying against the wall, smiling innocently at him. No, innocently wasn't the right word more like... victorious.  
«'Morning little Mo~»  
GuanShan gritted his teeth, sending He Tian a death glare «AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!»  
«Here’s the luggage He Tian»  
«MOM!»  
«Thanks Auntie»  
«WHAT IN THE CHICKEN DICK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW??»  
While He Tian was taking his luggage God only know where, his mom looked at him, shaking her head.  
«GuanShan, why are you still here? Shower, now!»  
Again, she was pushing him «Mom, what-»  
«Also brush your teeth!»  
GuanShan first looked at the closed door, then at himself in the mirror  
“It has to be a dream” he thought.  
Twenty minutes later he was freshly showered, dressed, and out of the bathroom, his mother waiting for him.  
«Ready?» she asked  
«It's freaking freezing mom! What the heck is this all about?» he frowned «Are you...kicking me out?»  
«Of course not you silly! Here take this backpack. There's your phone, headphones, a camera, your wallet, I put some money there, buy some souvenirs!»  
«Souvenirs?»  
«Let me walk you to the car»  
«I think my head is about to implode»  
Outside,the sun was still low at the horizon and he found himself shaking as the freezing morning air hit him.  
A big black car was waiting for him.  
He stopped a few feet away from it  
«This is madness» he said  
« GuanShan hurry!» His mother took him by his hand guiding him to the car; before opening the car's door he looked at her  
«Mom…» he whined.  
She smiled, hugging him tightly. After a moment of hesitation GuanShan hugged her back, noticing how small she has become from the last time they hugged each other.  
«Don't think about anything, have fun with your friends and make a lot of good memories. You deserve it»  
He heard her sniffing but before he could look at her face he heard the sound of the one of the back car’s door opening and then she literally shoved him inside.  
When he recollected himself he could just look at his mother more and more far away through the car's window.  
«Hey redhead»  
GuanShan snapped at his side: Jian Yi was sitting beside him at the back of the car, and at the front passenger’s seat was Zheng Xi. No sign of He Tian.  
A guy in a black suit was driving the car.  
«What are you fuckers doing here?»  
«What?» pouted Jian Yi «Don't worry we’re not going to disturb you and He Tian»  
GuanShan gritted his teeth, and he felt some of his veins popping with pure rage.  
«Somebody better start explaining 'cause I’m about to kill someone»  
Zheng Xi shacked his head «We don't know either, He Tian said he was going to take us somewhere nice»  
«WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT ABOUT ASKING?»  
Jian Yi smiled «I don't care as long as I'm with XiXi~»  
«Who the fuck cares!! And where the hell is He dog’s shit eating Tian, he was at my house just a few moments ago! Thinks he can do whatever he fucking wants!»  
Jian Yi was covering his ears «You're so loud! Does anyone ever told you that?»  
GuanShan took him by the collar «How dare YOU telling me something like that?!?!»  
Jian Yi struggled pushing GuanShan's face away «XiXi!! Help!»  
«'m going to sleep» answered Zheng Xi, yawning and lazily resting his head.  
After some minutes of fighting they finally settled down, and GuanShan noted that Jian Yi and Zhen Xi were also wearing clothes that clearly weren't for winter, he asked about it and apparently it was part of He Tian's instructions, the other was to arrive at the airport at 6am.  
After getting out of the car, they were guided by two others men through the airport and they brought them to an hangar where, beautifully shining, an airplane was waiting to leave.  
«Is that…» said Jian Yi «A freaking personal jet?? One of those you see in movies??»  
GuanShan and Zheng Xi were both admiring the beautiful machine, jaws dropped.  
«What in the actual fuck…» whispered GuanShan.  
«AWESOME! AWESOME!» was shouting Jian Yi, shaking Zheng Xi’s arm, who shoved him aside  
«Where's He Tian?»  
And, as summoned, He Tian showed up at the jet’s door, arms crossed... looking all satisfied and tall and cool and... GuanShan stopped his train of thought there.  
«What are you dumb heads doing down there? Hurry up, we’re about to take off»  
Jian Yi, hanging into Zheng Xi arm, dragged him towards the stairs «He Tian~ I’m totally re-evaluating you! XiXi! Let's go! I want to see how's inside!»  
«Stop pulling me idiot!»  
As Jian Yi and Zheng Xi entered the jet, GuanShan didn't move a single step, looking annoyed towards He Tian who, slightly tilting his head, crossed his legs resting his shoulder against the cold metal.  
«Aren't you coming Mo?»  
«Of course not you shady, conceited bastard! What the hell is this uh?»  
«This?» He Tian looked over his shoulder «An airplane if I’m not wrong»  
GuanShan gritted his teeth «Don't you dare fuck with me! Where are you taking us?»  
He Tian smiled «Of course, that's a surprise, isn't it?»  
«And what? You thought I would just follow you like that? You're just as crazy! I’m not coming with you jackasses!»  
He Tian lowly chuckled «I don't think you have a choice»  
«Of course I do!»  
He Tian took just one step down «I could always bring you up here with force» his eyes darkened, and his voice was low.  
GuanShan took one step back «Y-you wouldn't dare!»  
He Tian smiled, taking a second step «Really now? Wouldn't I? I’m not sure about that...are you?»  
“OF COURSE NOT!” thought GuanShan, how could he be sure about something when He Tian was involved? Look at him! He was in a freaking hangar, dressed in shorts in full winter! And he didn't even know how all of that could happen!  
He Tian took a third step.  
GuanShan clicked his tongue «WHATEVER!» he shouted, climbing the stairs, stomping furiously each step.  
As soon as he passed next to He Tian, he felt him nudging at his shoulder, at witch GuanShan retorted with an angry snort.  
The inside of the jet was simply something out of his wildest imagination: it was like the inside of a luxurious hotel. Everything was sparkling, silky seats and expensive furniture. TV, mini bar and somewhere at the back of the airplane he heard Jian Yi screaming «A freaking king size bed?!?»  
He Tian chuckled behind him, pointing at the seats «Make yourself at home, I’m going to talk to the pilot»  
GuanShan didn't answer, looking at He Tian disappearing into the pilot's cabin.  
Then, he carefully sat down into one of the seat, caressing its soft material, that chair alone was probably worth his whole room furniture .  
At that moment a hostess walked past him, perfectly dressed up and looking like a model, smiling elegantly and slightly bowing.  
«Sir, would you kindly give me your luggage?»  
GuanShan's mouth went ajar for a moment while his mind started to process those simple words, didn't He Tian took his luggage at his house? Then, the lady graciously lowered her eyes towards his backpack.  
GuanShan felt his cheeks going on fire «O-oh» he said, hanging out the bag «Yeah, sure»  
After placing it inside the compartment, she thanked him and bowed again, disappear into the other side of the airplane.  
At that moment something occurred to him: it was the first time for him to fly on a airplane. And even though it burned, he had to admit that he felt kind of agitated.  
What was he supposed to do? Did the take off felt weird?  
He was so deep in thoughts that he almost missed He Tian calling him  
«Are you alright?» he asked, noticing his slightly paler face  
GuanShan gritted his teeths «What's it to you?»  
He Tian shrugged «Everything's ready, I need to call those two idiots»  
GuanShan eyes widened «A-already?»  
He Tian tilted his head, folding his arms «Are you... afraid of flying?»  
«WHO'S AFRAID YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT?!»  
«Mmm~» smiled He Tian, taking a few steps towards him «It's your first time?»  
His voice was so low that GuanShan couldn't help but feel the hidden innuendo behind those words, he fought though with all his might, pushing He Tian away and trying to retrieve his backpack, unfortunately the compartment was locked.  
He Tian chuckled gripping his shoulders and turning GuanShan towards him.  
«I’ll tell you what you need to do» he whispered  
«Let fucking go of-»  
«First» interrupted him He Tian «You sit down» and by slightly pushing him in his chest, He Tian made GuanShan fall back in his seat  
«HEY!»  
«Then…» both of He Tian's hands rested upon GuanShan's thighs, who horrified paralyzed himself, as those hands started moving up.  
GuanShan looked at them, moving then his eyes towards He Tian's  
«Wha- ?wha-?»  
He Tian grinned as his hands disappeared behind GuanShan hips; he was ready to shout his lungs out when, immediately, those hands come back out, holding the two sides of a black belt.  
«...you buckle this up» continued He Tian, buckling the belt with a click and getting up straight slowly «And let the airplane do the work»  
GuanShan felt so much rage that he had the impression that his heart was about to explode in his chest...wait, what? That's not how rage wor-.  
«Whaa?? Redhead’s scared? Laaame~»  
Jian Yi and Zheng Xi came back from their little adventure.  
GuanShan's punched his seat while the other two young boy sat down too.  
«What do you know asshole?»  
Jian Yi buckled his belt, thinking «Well, we did went to that school trip together, didn't we XiXi?»  
«Um» nodded Zheng Xi «Last year»  
«Fuck you guys!»  
He Tian took place beside him «Don't be afraid little Mo, here: you can take my hand»  
«Fuck you! I want to get out!»  
He Tian smiled devilishly «Too late for that».  
With the corner of his eye, GuanShan saw the same hostess closing the airplane’s door, and with a gulp, he felt cold sweat rolling down his spine.  
The flight was lightly longer than two hours, and after the shock of the take off, GuanShan spent most of the time admiring the view under their eyes. It was amazing how everything looked so small and distant. After the first hour all he could see was open sea, all the way to the distance.  
“Where the fuck are we going?” thought GuanShan, admiring the beautiful shades of blue shining at the sunlight.  
Then he saw it, in the distance: a little dot of pure white sand.  
«Is that a freaking island??» Jian Yi had screamed.  
And it seemed that yes, they were landing on an island in the middle of nowhere.  
As soon as the airplane touched the ground, and the door was open GuanShan finally understood why He Tian has made them dress like that: wherever they were it was HOT.  
«Hey» called him He Tian.  
GuanShan looked back, blinking at the light burning his eyes.  
«W-what?»  
He Tian chuckled, handing him his luggage «You can be amazed later, we need to go now the car's waiting»  
«SHUT UP!» answered GuanShan, throwing a punch to the air.  
They all got on a car, and suddenly Jian Yi called GuanShan «You forgot this» he said, handing his backpack  
«Thank- is that my camera?!»  
Jian Yi hid the camera behind him «C'mon we both know you're not going to use it. Lend it to me! I'm going to capture a lot of good memories!» he winked at him.  
GuanShan stared blanky at him «You're just going to take photos of Zheng Xi you fucker»  
Jian Yi snapped his fingers «Correction: I'm ALSO taking photos of Zheng Xi in a swimsuit»  
«What?» he said  
«Forget the last part. Please Redhead?»  
He sighed «Whatever. But if you break it I'm going to kill you»  
«Yes!» and right after that he took the first picture of GuanShan, blinding him  
«Stop you asshole!»  
The car left the airport and took and old road surrounded by trees and palms.  
Jian Yi was simply over the edge «Where's the beach? Where's the beach? WHERE'S THE BEACH?!?»  
«SO LOUD! SHUT UP!» silenced him Zheng Xi.  
GuanShan sighed, like that was the point of the whole situation. Well...not that he wasn't curious but…  
«THERE!!! I SEE IT!!»  
GuanShan's train of thoughts stopped there: he saw it at his left, curving lightly and following the line of the coast, water shining with so many shades of blue and sand as white as whipped cream.  
He didn't even realized when he got out of the car, he just stood there, walking slowly towards the beach.  
He was...not used to his eyes looking so far at the distance. Not anymore.  
He had almost forgotten that outside of his room, his house, school, and his all city...the world could be so much spacious and silent. For a moment he stood there, still, taking all in that new feeling of surprise.  
«Do you like it?» asked a voice somewhere behind him.  
«Mn» nodded GuanShan before he could even realize it, then he turned around and saw He Tian.  
He felt himself blushing from head to toe. He opened his mouth to shout with all his might but stopped as soon as he saw He Tian looking towards the sea himself and… just smiling.  
«I'm glad» he said.  
Words died in GuanShan's throat.  
He Tian looked so different for a moment: younger and relaxed.  
Then he looked back at GuanShan with the corner of his eye and patted his head once.  
«Let's go»  
It was like that with He Tian.  
Like there was always something undone, something untold.  
It was there, but GuanShan couldn't grasp it even though it looked so close to him.  
From where the car stopped they walked for about two minutes from the beach towards a house immersed into the green and, like everything involved with He Tian, it was something else:  
spacious and full of light, with the windows directly faced towards the sea.  
He Tian had arranged two bedrooms with two twin beds each, GuanShan was ready to protest but before he could open his mouth, He Tian preceded him «Who's ready for a swim?»  
And just like that GuanShan found himself swimming inside a beautiful crystal water, playing cards under the beach umbrella, playing basketball (GuanShan suspected that He Tian had build one just for them), getting sun burnings at his back because like hell he was going to let any of those fuckers touch him, eating watermelons that tasted like heaven, swimming again, playing again.  
Like the sea GuanShan found himself following blindly the flow of events that were thrown at him.  
And just like that came the sunset, before he could realize it they where back at He Tian's house; he had just showered and was more than ready to just fall asleep.  
He laid down, hissing at the burn at his back  
«Fuck» he whispered  
He Tian entered the room in that moment, shaking his head and showing a bottle of after sun cream.  
«Need a hand?»  
GuanShan looked at He Tian, then at the bottle and then at the bed, imagining the hell of a night that he would have gone through if he wasn't going to do something about his back.  
Maybe it was that thought, or maybe he was just too tired but in the end he turned around  
«Don't try anything funny» he said, before grasping the edge of his shirt with the tip of his fingers and raising it enough to uncovering just his back.  
He felt the mattress deepens behind him, and right after that He Tian's hand on his skin.  
He accidentally flinched, feeling how cold the cream was but also He Tian's fingers.  
He Tian chuckled, moving his hand in slow circles  
«Sorry about that»  
GuanShan grunted, and in an attempt to distract himself from He Tian's touch he said the first thing that came into his mind «When are you going to tell me where we are?»  
He Tian moved his hand from his shoulders to the center of his back «Does it matter though? Just enjoy the moment would ya?»  
GuanShan snorted «Like I could. I don't even know why you would do this for us»  
He Tian's hand stopped «Maybe I'm just doing it for myself»  
«Yeah right. You're not like that» it just came out so naturally, that his mouth just blurted it out. And it looked like that day it was happening a little too much. With the corner of his eyes he could see He Tian's eyes widened with surprise.  
He gritted his teeth, taking a big breath and ready to yell, when he felt He Tian's forehead resting at the nape of his neck.  
He didn't have the courage to talk, or to move.  
Then, He Tian moved raising his head «Thanks»  
and right after that He Tian kissed him on that same spot.  
«HEY!» shouted GuanShan, almost falling down from the bed.  
But He Tian was already up smiling at him «I'm going to shower now~».  
And just like that he was gone.  
Three weeks went by from that day, days where they just enjoyed their stay in that little corner of the world. Away from everyone, away from everything. Like there were nothing but them and the sea.  
And the evening spent eating at the beach, falling asleep till the moon was high in the sky, seeing for the first time millions and millions of stars like he had never seen before. He Tian had also organized a fireworks night, GuanShan couldn't even imagine how. And it was breath taking.  
Time kind of disappeared, and days blended into each other.  
It was simply nice.  
GuanShan was almost ready to admit that he was having fun, in spite that one day...  
«GuanShan» a voice called him, waking him up from a deep sleep «Wake up, hurry»  
GuanShan opened his eyes, finding He Tian fully clothed in front of him «What do you want?»  
«You need to go. Prepare your stuff. Jian Yi and Zheng Xi are already up»  
“Oh” thought GuanShan “We're going home. Why didn't he tell us yesterday?”.  
Then he looked at his phone: it was just 3 am.  
Weird.  
He looked around and he noticed someone waking outside of the house, he also heard weird noises coming from the kitchen.  
«What the fuck is going on?»  
He Tian tossed some clothes against him «There's no time, hurry»  
Trying to ignore the weirdest feeling of déjà vu, GuanShan followed He Tian's instructions, and in less than ten minutes they were out of the house, while waiting for Jian Yi and Zheng Xi to put they luggage inside of the car, GuanShan looked back at the house...he would have lied if he would have said that he wasn't kind of sorry that it was just going to end like that, but it was going to happen sooner or later. Thought... something was definitely off.  
When they got into the car, Jian Yi fell asleep over Zheng Xi shoulder, GuanShan looked at him, then to He Tian sitting in the passenger seat in front of him.  
«Not that I care, but what's the hurry? There's like… a storm or something?»  
He Tian smiled, but something in that smile was off too.  
«Kind of»  
At the airport things get even weirder, at least twenty men in black clothes were patrolling the entire area, and there was a car, in a parking lot, surrounded by at least eight of those weird guys. Black windows and clearly waiting for someone.  
They all got out.  
Jian Yi was the first getting on the plane, followed by Zheng Xi and right after him GuanShan. But before taking the last step into the plane he turned back: He Tian was at the bottom of the stairs. His hands deep inside his pockets.  
GuanShan looked around them, a strong wind rose between them.  
Two men were behind He Tian, looking ready to escort him.  
The car who took them had already left, everything felt cold and different from just a few hours ago.  
Why wasn't He Tian telling him what was happening? Why couldn't he be for once the one to share his plan? He followed him into this place with no words, trusting him. Why couldn't he do the same?  
GuanShan stared at him, tired.  
«If you're not going to take this plane with us, I'm done with you. Don't ever talk to me, don't ever look for me. I'm just going to forget about you»  
He Tian lowered his eyes, took a deep breath.  
And when he raised his eyes, even though he was smiling...he looked so, so freaking hurt. Like he was about to fall to his feet.  
«That» he said, his voice heavy «Might be for the best».  
GuanShan didn't waste another second looking at him, he went inside, sitting in his seat.  
Jian Yi and Zheng Xi looked at each other, confused, but GuanShan was blind and deaf to their voices. And it was like that for all the flight, till he got into the taxi that took him back home.  
When he woke up and his hands caressed his sheets, if felt weird to not find little bits of sand between it, and it felt weird that the hair didn't smelt of salsedine. But most of all, that there was no bed besides him, with He Tian on it, breathing slowly, with his dark hair scattered over the white pillow.  
He blinked a few times, reminding himself that he wasn't on a desert island anymore. Thinking something like that was even weirder than just dreaming about it. But it wasn't a dream, it really happened. And that ugly weight to his stomach was killing him.  
Then, someone knocked at his door «GuanShan honey?»  
«Mom» yawned GuanShan, sitting up «Come in»  
His mother peeked out of the door, smiling softly at him «You're awake dear? Dinner's ready»  
GuanShan nodded «How much did I slept?»  
«Just a couple of hours. Oh and before I forget» she entered the room «Look what I got!»  
She put a camera on GuanShan's desk.  
The redhead looked at it, widening his eyes  
«How?» he asked  
«Your friend Jian Yi came here a while ago. He was in a hurry so he told me to not wake you. Also, he said that, and I quote, “you should definitely, absolutely look at this”» she smiled «Isn't he nice?»  
GuanShan nodded «Yeah»  
His mother smiled «Alright, come eat when you're done»  
GuanShan took the camera in his hands, he had almost forgot about it. Probably because Jian Yi was so focused on taking photos of Zheng Xi only, that he had probably didn't notice him using it.  
He tried to turn it on.  
«Battery's dead» he said.  
He took an USB cable and connect it with his computer.  
At first he just wanted to let it charge, then he thought that no matter how much of an idiot Jian Yi was he wouldn't ask him to look at it if it was just to look at a bunch of Zheng Xi’s pictures.  
He sat in front of his computer, searching for the camera’s fold.  
He looked at it, and after a second he opened it.  
There were at least five hundred photos.  
Most of them (he could see without even opening them) were, as he predicted, of Zheng Xi; other were of some random objects or sea view, or some of the house. The others thought…  
It started with the first, of him and He Tian walking together while reaching the house. One at the beach, again one besides the other.  
While eating.  
While drinking.  
One even when they were sleeping at the beach.  
In a video, during the fireworks night, also there, they were standing by each other.  
GuanShan looked shocked at the pictures. He thought he was kind of aware of how He Tian could be clingy sometimes. But this...he just never noticed.  
In every photo they were never more than three feet away from each other.  
So maybe it wasn't just He Tian... could it be, could it be that he also…?  
Then he noticed, a video.  
On the preview he could see the date, and it was probably made a few hours before they went home.  
He Tian's face was on close up.  
He clicked play.  
And suddenly He Tian was looking at him, smiling.  
« Thank you for sharing all of this with me GuanShan. I'll never, ever forget it. Those were the happiest days of my life. Forget about this place, it would have been the same even if it was on the shittiest place on the planet. But it would have been with you, and I would be as happy as I am now. Let's have fun tomorrow too, together. I'll see you there»  
GuanShan had never felt a pang so hard in his heart.  
He took a deep breath and saw tears falling down from nowhere to his desk, he snarled rubbing furiously his arm over his eyes.  
He looked at his phone, pouting «I hate him so fucking much»

somewhere far away 

He Tian phone's buzzed in his pocket.  
He didn't want to look at it, he didn't want in fact to do anything. Every trace of force had left him.  
After a few minutes he took it anyway.  
A message.  
He unlocked it.  
“I'll be waiting”


	2. Wound and Sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was something both beautiful and unreal about the image of the man standing in front of GuanShan, so much that he started to wonder if that person, that hollowing shadow in front of him was actually He Tian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I was able to blend Day 2 and Day 3 together. Please let me know our thoughs!  
> My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Mestizo  
> Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mestizo-efp

There was something both beautiful and unreal about the image of the man standing in front of GuanShan, so much that he started to wonder if that person, that hollowing shadow in front of him was actually He Tian.

The moon at his back was high, stretching a long shadow throughout his body; the glass wall was broken, and frozen wind caressed both of them. He Tian hair raised slowly, swaying gently.

Tiny chipping of glass kept falling down, filling the room with a faint tinkle. They gleamed on the floor of the dark room, and with the lights out they created the illusion of a starry sky just below their feet.

GuanShan let out a long breath. For a moment he closed his eyes, trying with all his might to believe that that was it. That that was going to be the only thing that he will remember about that night.

But he couldn't escape from reality: everything happened in an instant, and because of the adrenaline still pumping hard in his vein he was able to recall it in his mind vividly.  
Him, arriving at He Tian's apartment.  
The warm hand on his mouth as he opened the door, and the cold metal of the gun pressing against his throat.  
He Tian looking at them, calmly raising his hands.  
His fear when the gun left his throat and then was raised towards He Tian's head.  
GuanShan looking at the finger on the trigger... slowly pushing, and his shout muffled into the man's hand as he hit him with his elbow.  
Then something hit his head, and everything became confused and distorted.  
In his haze he was just able to hear a series of shots, glass breaking; the sound of punches and chairs falling down. Then the swing of a knife,an hiss.  
Something pulling at his hair and a sharp blade grazing at his Adam's apple.  
A guttural laugh...then one, last, shot.

When he was finally able to focus at everything surrounding him, it was all over.

In less than three minutes.  
And there he was, if only...if only it was all a dream.

When he opened his eyes...he looked down, and just couldn't ignore the dead body lying to He Tian's feet.

His eyes were open, fixed into the void; his mouth horribly deformed into a muted shout. And the blood...it was everywhere. From the bigger and bigger stain that was flooding out of the man, to He Tian's hands, dripping down in slow drops.  
The moon’s light made it shine like pure ruby.

GuanShan took a breath, and he realized that he was trembling like he had never before. His stomach was churning and he just wanted to puke his soul out of his mouth.

He looked up to He Tian's face, trying to understand what was going through the boy's mind. But somehow the shadow that had fallen on him had thickened more and more. Like thick tar, it had adhered to his skin. And for a moment GuanShan thought that it would never go away.

He clenched his fist, harder and harder.  
No, he had to do something.  
All that situation, all of that, if was his fault and his alone.

He breathed again and he moved past the body to get closer to He Tian.  
Being that close he was finally able to look him into his eyes. But He Tian wasn't looking at him, or the body...he was looking at nothing. Like he wasn't even there.

GuanShan tightened his lips into a thin line, what was he supposed to do? What was the right thing to say?  
He looked down at He Tian's hand, still dropping fresh blood.  
“One thing at a time” he thought.  
«L-Let» his voice came out trembling, he cursed at himself, biting his lips.  
“Get yourself together GuanShan” he thought.  
He tried again.  
«Let me see your hand» his voice came out firm this time, but He Tian didn't move «He Tian!»  
He wasn't listening.  
GuanShan clicked his tongue taking He Tian's hand and inspecting it, the blood didn't came from his hand.  
He slowly raised the sleeve, drenched with warm blood.  
GuanShan eyes widened: a cut. A seriously deep cut spread throughout the entire length of He Tian's forearm.  
«Fuck, fuck» hissed GuanShan «We...we need to do something about this» he looked around. Was there an emergency kit around there?  
He didn't know, he didn't understand a thing that was happening.  
«Are you worried little Mo?» GuanShan snapped towards He Tian: he was speaking, thank God. But...his eyes, and that smile... he wasn't even looking at him «That expression doesn't suit you…»  
That didn't make any sense. Was he in shock or something?  
«He Tian…» said GuanShan...

 

Then he heard it: carried by the wind, the sound of various car's stopping at the entrance of the skyscraper.  
The police? GuanShan kind of hoped it was, maybe they could help them.  
Unfortunately when he looked down, he just saw a bunch of black cars and a lot of men dressed like the one who attacked them.

Things were getting worse and worse.  
«Fuck» he said «We need to leave!»  
He walked towards the door, but He Tian didn't move. He looked at him  
«What are you doing? They're here!»  
For the first time He Tian raised his eyes «Go» he said, and nothing more.  
GuanShan breathed fast through his nose before taking He Tian's wrist and pulling him outside. He looked around, the elevator was out of question.  
“The stairs” he thought.  
He Tian behind him didn't said a word, letting himself being dragged like that...it wasn't even like him.

They had to stop twice while walking down the stairs; every sound, every voice made GuanShan's heart pound so hard with fear, afraid that those men were going to find them.  
Luckily they were able to get to the parking lot without any problem.  
GuanShan looked around how were they going to get out of there?  
The place outside of the parking lot was surrounded by those guys and it was just a matter of time before they would come down to look for them. 

He felt a hand in his shoulder, and he flinched as someone has pierced him with a knife, but it was just He Tian's hand. It looked like he had finally snapped out of it.  
«You need to go GuanShan»  
GuanShan gritted his teeth slapping away his hand «Stop those shitting nonsense! We're going together!»  
«They want me!! JUST GO!»  
«NO!»  
At that moment they heard a loud screech, they both turned around to see a big black Jeep stopping behind them.  
GuanShan felt his blood leaving his face: that was it? Just like that?  
Why? Why damnit?  
Then, the car's window slide down and GuanShan could literally feel his heart taking a long breath of relief.  
«He Cheng» whispered He Tian.  
«Get in.Now» said He Cheng, and GuanShan didn't need to being told twice.

They got into the car, both sitting on the back seats.  
He Cheng drove fast through roads, clearly knowing where he was going. He looked at He Tian, eyes forward and jaw clenched.  
He saw him opening his mouth to talk, but before a sound could leave his lips, He Cheng interrupted him.  
«No questions» he said «Just know, that there are a lot of people involved in this» and that was it.  
GuanShan didn't know if that was supposed to make He Tian feel better, but from his look he could tell that it wasn't the case.

They stopped at an abandoned warehouse, a few kilometers away from the city.  
He Cheng guided them inside of it; the air smelled of dust and something sour.  
He Cheng opened a metal door, pointing at it with his chin.  
It wasn't a room noted GuanShan, more like a closet, with barely enough space for two people. An old light bulb barely lightened it up, flickering and looking like it has just a few minutes of life.  
He looked at He Cheng but he didn't have the courage to protest, he got inside.  
He Tian stopped in front of him, looking directly at his brother's eyes  
«I…»  
«There's nothing else for you to do right now but to stay here»  
He Tian lowered his eyes and stepped inside the closet, giving his brother his back.  
He Cheng walked outside for about a minute and when he got back he had a plastic bag with him which he gave to GuanShan. GuanShan looked at it, and before taking the bag he looked at He Cheng.  
«It was all my fault, He Tian did nothing»  
He Cheng’s eyes narrowed «It's not up to you to decide it. None of you two»  
«But…»  
He Cheng left the beg in his hands «Patch him up, I'll be back tomorrow morning»  
That said, He Cheng closed the door behind him, and GuanShan could do nothing but hear his footsteps getting far and far away, till there was nothing left but the creepy sounds of that damn night.  
He looked inside the plastic bag: two bottles of water, a flashlight and an emergency kit.  
He heard a soft thud and he saw that He Tian had sat down; his legs, too long to be stretched out, were bended on the filthy floor and his head rested heavy on the dusty wall.

GuanShan had never seen him so vulnerable in all his life.  
He shacked his head and sat in front of him, taking the emergency kit.  
For a moment he wondered if he could actually do something about such a unsightly would, he was used to fight bruises...but that?  
Well...he should at least disinfect it.  
He opened the kit and reached out his hand towards He Tian.  
«Let me see» he whispered.  
«I'm fine» said He Tian, without looking at him.  
GuanShan gritted his teeth, moving an inch closer and taking He Tian's arm by himself.  
Luckily the bleeding had stopped, it still looked pretty bad.  
He looked up, but He Tian's eyes were still fixed on the wall besides them.  
He took the disinfectant and slowly opened the cap.  
«This might hurt» he said, before pouring it over the wound, but He Tian didn't flinch. Not a blink of an eye.  
GuanShan didn't know if he should be amazed or worried about that.  
After being washed and disinfected, the cut didn't looked so bad, it wasn't even that deep as he had thought.  
He took gauze and bandages, slowly placing them over his arm.  
The silence was killing him, he wanted so bad to say something, but his mind wasn't able to elaborate any useful thoughts, he had never felt this-.  
«I can't remember the last time I felt this powerless» said He Tian.  
GuanShan looked at him, shocked.  
He Tian snorted, but in an hurtful way.  
«You were right little Mo. From the beginning, when you said I was dangerous, whenever you said that you didn't want to have anything to do with me... I should have let you be»  
He Tian looked at him, but his bangs were covering his eyes «How could I let you witness something so disgusting? How could I involved you with all of this? When you looked at me after I…» he bit his tongue, shaking his head «It was like you were looking at a monster. This!» he placed his hand over the bandages, squeezing so hard GuanShan could feel the pain on himself «This is nothing» he lowered his head «Nobody will ever forgive me...most of all...I'll never forgive myself»  
For a moment GuanShan could only hear his heart beating faster and faster, the sound so strong it covered his ears.  
He felt so angry, so pissed that he bit his lip until they bleed.  
It was all wrong, wrong, WRONG!  
He punched the floor as hard as he can.  
«BULLSHITS!!» he yelled, taking He Tian's hand away from his arm and squeezing it as hard as he can «Now listen to me here! It's not your fault and it's not my fucking fault either!! We didn't asked for an asshole to kill us! And we sure as hell didn't deserve one!» he shacked He Tian's arm «I don't care who he fucking was, I don't care that he’s dead! If it was either us or him, well fucking damn it let it be him!»  
He looked down at the loosened up bandages and started to roll them up again «You saved our lives, you saved my life! So I fucking forgive you! And my forgiveness it's the only one that you need. If someone it's not okay with that then they'll deal with me!»

He looked up, but He Tian's eyes were still lowered and hurt.  
He tightened his lips, and slowly raised his hand; he stopped for a second. Closed his fingers and opening them again.  
Softly he brushed He Tian's hair away from his forehead. His skin was cold, stained with sweat and microscopic dots of blood.  
His hand moved down, from his temple to his cheek, witch he cupped.  
Only then He Tian's eyes finally looked up to his.  
GuanShan got closer and placed his lips over He Tian's.  
He moved away after two seconds, then got close again, planting another peck, then another one, and another one. Till He Tian's hand was on his neck, to keep him close as he deepened the kiss. 

GuanShan's let out a long sigh as he felt He Tian's tongue slipping between his lips; it was his first kiss and it felt kind of weird, but it was everything that he needed, that both of them needed.

GuanShan's opened his eyes to find out that the light had in the end died, and little holes on the old wall let thin strings of moon’s light come through; everything was silent.

They kissed for another long minutes until He Tian get away a little, placing his thumb over GuanShan lower lip. He then sighed, resting his head on GuanShan's shoulder and circling his back with his arms, hugging him.

 

GuanShan patted He Tian’s back once, starting to feel a little embarrassed.  
Then he heard He Tian giggling onto his shoulder.  
«It took you one dead man to kiss me. If I knew I would have done it a long time ago»  
GuanShan shacked his head, punching him slightly on his shoulder blades  
«Oh now you can even joke about it. Fucking He Tian»  
He Tian turned his head, not leaving GuanShan's shoulder, GuanShan understood that it was taking a lot of effort to He Tian to being able to joke like that in that moment.  
«Now I wonder what it's going to take me to take you to bed»

This time GuanShan punched him in his gut, blushing from head to toe «Can't you being serious damnit?!»  
«I am serious» chuckled He Tian, taking once again GuanShan into his embrace.  
He hugged him, tighter and tighter.  
«Thank you» he said.  
GuanShan patted his head, twice.  
«Um» he nodded.  
“Patch him up” has said He Cheng before leaving.  
GuanShan looked at He Tian head, nudging softly against his neck, yearning for warmness and comfort and GuanShan wondered if he had being able to do it, even just a little.

Even for just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Mestizo  
> Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mestizo-efp

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts  
> My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Mestizo  
> Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mestizo-efp


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